Not Another RyuShu Fanfic
by HULY
Summary: And so, another RyuichiShuichi fiction is born. And the people cried in protest. But wait! This one is different. Shuichi didn't catch Yuki with Tohma! Ryuichi isn't somehow more smart and mature than he usually is! Oh, my. What type of story is this?


Disclaimer: toga toga toga toga toga toga toga toga toga toga toga i dont own gravitation or stacys mom toga toga toga toga toga toga toga toga toga  
  
HULY: Um... That were a private joke. (Which I hope the people who know what it's about got.) Meh heh. I do know how to spell, but I still don't own Gravitation. Or Stacy's Mom. Or a toga. Or six to eight black men. (Yay ex-bishop of Turkey!) Anywho, I just wanted to say hi. Are you? ...That joke is getting old. Stupid puns. Enjoy or whatever! I apologize in advance for any unwanted OOC or character bashing that some people may think is present!  
  
---  
  
Ryuichi Sakuma stares out the window of a plane.  
  
He's on his way back to Japan, in his own private jet, and there's something troubling him.  
  
What would that be, but the fact that he has no clean underwear.  
  
He's been thinking about this for quite some time.  
  
Practically all the way to his home country from LA.  
  
After a few more seconds of serious thought, Ryuichi comes to a solution involving duct tape, K's machine gun, a boxing nun doll, and three pieces of apple pie.  
  
Now, to go onto some other problems...  
  
Sighing, the voice of Nittle Grasper ponders what he should do about Shuichi Shindou.  
  
Ryuichi's loved him for a while now, but there are some complications.  
  
1. Shuichi's about as dense as a rock. (No offense to rocks) He still hasn't figured out how Ryuichi feels about him.  
  
2. Ryuichi's about as dense as Shuichi. (No offense to Shuichi) He still hasn't figured out how to tell Shuichi how he feels about him.  
  
3. Shuichi is with a poopie-head. (No offense to poop or heads) And he's a hot poopie-head, too.  
  
All three of the previous things are extreme obstacles in Ryuichi's path to getting Shuichi.  
  
Ryuichi thinks hard about this problem, just as he did about the dirty underthings.  
  
He thinks so hard, that he falls asleep and doesn't wake up until he reaches Japan, where time is spent to such useless and boring ends as eating a sandwich and telling Tohma that he's not fat.  
  
There are no thoughts of Shuichi in Ryuichi's brain during this time, as it would be too hard to consume food and put up with Tohma's feminine antics if he were thinking of the little strawberry boy.  
  
And so, Ryuichi's true journey to Shuichi's heart begins after he's gone back and forth from Japan to the USA five more times, and is on his way to Tokyo again.  
  
By this time, Ryuichi has come up with two possible solutions to the problem of Shindou being dense as a rock, Sakuma being dense as Shuichi, and Yuki being a good-looking poopie-head.  
  
Ryuichi could either become a CG rabbit and take Shuichi away while Yuki was making pancakes, or make a song just for Shuichi and sing it to him; while in the meantime letting his feelings be known and charming Shuichi at the same time.  
  
The latter seems a better idea, seeing as Ryuichi doesn't know if Shuichi is into furry or if Yuki makes pancakes, so Sakuma Ryuichi thinks hard and long about what song he could sing for Shuichi.  
  
Seeing as after he thought about this, five hours to Tokyo turned to five minutes, Ryuichi decides that he should just modify a cool song and give it to Shuichi;'a cool song' being the first thing he hears on the radio.  
  
So, he turns on his tunes, and what should he hear, but an infamous pop song found mostly on hip-hop stations.  
  
Squealing with delight, Ryuichi quickly writes down the lyrics that immediately come to his head, and prepares for a happy, shiny, pretty, awesome trip to Japan where he will make Shuichi his.  
  
-A few days later, at the Yuki/Shindou residence...-  
  
"Hey, Yuki!" Shuichi calls from the living room, after putting down the phone. "Sakuma-san's inviting us to a private concert thing. It's gonna be at six t'night!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Whatever."  
  
Yuki's eyes don't leave the laptop in front of him, and the same with his mind.  
  
If his mind had left the rape and murder of the protagonist of his new book, he'd probably be suspicious.  
  
It did take him a few minutes to register that something was going on in four hours that might take the greater part of the night, but he finally realizes that no night means no sex, and so he shuts off his computer and goes off to find his pink-haired lover to make the day worth living.  
  
-At six, in a karaoke bar that has no one in there right now other than Ryuichi, Shuichi, Yuki, Tohma, Noriko, Hiroshi, K, Sakano, and Fujisaki; not really private, but not exactly public either-  
  
As Suguru and Tohma exchange smiles of hatred towards each other while sitting at the bar table, K polishes his gun while talking merrily to a very nervous Sakano about the proper way to overthrow the president of the United States, Hiroshi and Noriko cary on a conversation about the stupidity of fellow band members, and Yuki and Shuichi sit in the sidelines with their sadistic and masochistic remarks to each other, Ryuichi prepares next to the stage; humming the tune of his song and trying to remember all his snappy dance moves he's going to make.  
  
Carefully setting Kumagoro down in a special Kumagoro chair, he finally gets on stage and goes up to the microphone.  
  
"Excuse me no da!"  
  
Everyone stops what they were doing, and look at Ryuichi.  
  
"Thank you very much no da! I asked you all here so I could sing a very pico song no da. It was originally a song called Stacy's Mom no da, but I used the music and changed the lyrics a bit and made it my own shiny, shiny, happy song. I hope you all like it."  
  
Wondering why the hell Ryuichi Sakuma would sing about someone's mother, everyone waits to find out.  
  
Out of the speakers come the prerecorded part of the song.  
  
"Shuichi, you've got it goin' on... Shuichi, you've got it goin' on..."  
  
A number of people fall on their faces, Shuichi not being among them.  
  
"Shuichi, you've got it goin' on... Shuichi, you've got it goin' on..."  
  
Ryuichi starts to sing his part.  
  
"Shu-chan, can I come over after work?"  
  
"After work no da."  
  
"We can hang around without Yuki the jerk."  
  
"Yuki the jerk no da."  
  
The latter twitches.  
  
"Is he really there, or is he gone?"  
  
"Is he gone no ka?"  
  
"If he's not there, why don't we get it on?"  
  
"Get it on no da."  
  
Everyone who had gotten up, immediately falls down again.  
  
Shuichi still stares dumbly at his idol.  
  
"Y'know, I'm not as immature, as I seem to be. I know my feelings. Shu-chan, can't you see?"  
  
Hiroshi tries to cover his face in his hands and stop laughing, but only succeeds in snorting loudly.  
  
"Shuichi, you've got it goin' on!"  
  
Ryuichi really gets into what he's singing and starts to dance.  
  
"You're all I want and I've waited for so long! Shu-chan, can't you see? I'm much better than Yuki!"  
  
Yuki twitches again, and his glare becomes more intense.  
  
"I know it's not okay, but I still love you anyway."  
  
Shuichi looks around the room, wondering what to do.  
  
"Shu-chan, do you really think of me as a god?"  
  
"As a god no da."  
  
"If you do, you should know that I'm not."  
  
"No, I'm not no da."  
  
"I know I outshine all those other guys."  
  
"Other guys no da."  
  
"But you are the number one in my eyes."  
  
"In my eyes no da."  
  
Fujisaki whispers to Hiroshi and he whispers back in the midst of his laughing. The young Seguchi clone slaps his head and sweatdrops.  
  
"And I know you don't realize what I feel inside, but that's what this song is for so open up your eyes!"  
  
Shuichi's eyes couldn't be more open then they are now. Nevertheless, he still doesn't know what's going on.  
  
"Shuichi, you've got it goin' on! You're all I want and I've waited for so long! Shu-chan, can't you see? I'm much better than Yuki!"  
  
Yuki closes his eyes and twitches again; you can notice the vein in his forehead at this point.  
  
"I know it's not okay, but I still love you anyway."  
  
As the instrumental break starts, Ryuichi dances even more.  
  
Hiroshi is still laughing his ass off, many people are sill on the floor, Yuki is still pissed, Fujisaki is still exasperated, Shuichi still is weirded out, and Tohma seems very happy for some reason.  
  
"Shuichi, you've got it goin' on!"  
  
"You've got it goin' on."  
  
"You're all I want and I've waited for so long!"  
  
"Waited and waited."  
  
"Shu-chan, can't you see? I'm much better than Yuki!"  
  
The latter walks over to Hiroshi, leaving the still stunned Shuichi all alone.  
  
"I know it's not okay. But I still love you..."  
  
"Shuichi! Oh!"  
  
Yuki says something and Hiroshi motions for him to come closer, still snickering. He then whispers something in Yuki's ear. The blond blinks twice and then let's out a "pfffffffft!" He sits down next to Hiro and covers his face with his hands as well. Both Yuki and Nakano go into deep hysterics while Fujisaki watches, still sweating nervously.  
  
"I still love you..."  
  
"Shuichi! Oh!"  
  
"Now you know."  
  
"Shu-chan, can't you see? I'm much better than Yuki!"  
  
"I know it's not okay, but I still love you anyway."  
  
As the music stops and Ryuichi does too, Hiroshi and Eiri stop trying to keep from laughing, and seemingly burst.  
  
Everyone but Shuichi and those two get very nervous and sweatdrop.  
  
"S- S- S- GYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" Yuki pounds his fist on the table in front of him. "Sa- Sa- Sa- PFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!"  
  
A few minutes pass and the two men can finally keep a straight face. (In a manner of speaking, that is)  
  
"Sakuma, we need to talk." Yuki gets up and gestures for Ryuichi to follow him.  
  
The two walk off, leaving everyone else to look at Shuichi.  
  
"So, Shindou-san. What're you going to do now?" asks Tohma happily at the thought of Shuichi and his Eiri-san not being together.  
  
"I- I-"  
  
Shuichi starts to sob.  
  
In the room over, Yuki glares at Ryuichi.  
  
Ryuichi glares at Yuki.  
  
"You really are a fucking retard, aren't you?"  
  
Ryuichi's angry face turns into a sad one.  
  
"That was mean na no da."  
  
"You're right. I feel sorry for all those special ed kids out there being compared to you."  
  
"Well," Ryuichi puts on his tough expression again. "I'm not gonna take back what I sang. 'Cause now me and Shuichi are gonna be together 'cause he knows how I feel and that I'm better than you."  
  
Yuki smiles maliciously.  
  
"You really think that, do you?"  
  
"Yep. I really do."  
  
"Okay. Then just wait and listen."  
  
Back in the other room, Sakano is trying to comfort the crying Shuichi, while everyone other than Hiro and Tohma seem greatly annoyed.  
  
"It's okay, Shindou-kun. If I just went through that I'd be crying, too." Sakano pats him on the back.  
  
Shuichi hiccups and says sorrowfully, "But you didn't, did you? I mean, I didn't even know what the heck he was saying!"  
  
Hiroshi starts snorting again and Suguru looks at the walls.  
  
Everyone else let's out a small, "eh?"  
  
"W-what do you mean, Shindou?" Noriko wonders how the hell someone could not get that clear a message.  
  
"I- I-" Shuichi starts to cry again. "I CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Everyone in that room and the next - excluding Hiroshi, Fujisaki, Shuichi, and Yuki - falls to ground.  
  
"Oh. I get it now, Yuki-san, no da." Ryuichi picks himself up and starts pouting. "All that hard for nothing na no da!"  
  
He walks into the next room, picks up Kumagoro, and exits, muttering angrily to himself about duct tape, K's machine gun, a boxing nun doll, and three pieces of apple pie.  
  
After a few hours of sad Tohma, exasperated Suguru, surprised Sakano, laughing K, Hiroshi, Yuki, and Noriko, and one very confused Shuichi, everyone goes home.  
  
And so, everything is how it was except kinda different.  
  
THE END!!!!  
  
---  
  
HULY: That story was written solely for the purpose of my own amusement, so anything good in there was purely coincidental. If you want to see the lyrics more clearly so you can sing the song to yourself - for whatever sick and twisted reason that may be for - here they are.  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
Shu-chan, can I come over after work  
  
(After work)  
  
We can hang around without Yuki the jerk  
  
(Yuki the jerk)  
  
Is he really there or is he gone  
  
(Is he gone?)  
  
If he's not there, why don't we get it on  
  
(Get it on)  
  
Y'know, I'm not as immature as I seem to be  
  
I know my feelings  
  
Shu-chan, can't you see  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
You're all I want  
  
And I've waited for so long  
  
Shu-chan, can't you see  
  
I'm much better than Yuki  
  
I know it's not okay, but  
  
I still love you anyway  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
Shu-chan, do you really think of me as a god?  
  
(As a god)  
  
If you do, you should know that I'm not  
  
(No, I'm not)  
  
I know I outshine all those other guys  
  
(Other guys)  
  
But you are the number one in my eyes  
  
(In my eyes)  
  
And I know you don't realize what I feel inside  
  
But that's what this song is for  
  
So open up your eyes!  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
You're all I want  
  
And I've waited for so long  
  
Shu-chan, can't you see  
  
I'm much better than Yuki  
  
I know it's not okay, but  
  
I still love you anyway  
  
Shuichi, you've got it goin' on  
  
(You've got it goin' on)  
  
You're all I want  
  
And I've waited for so long  
  
(Waited and waited)  
  
Shu-chan, can't you see  
  
I'm much better than Yuki  
  
(I knows not okay, but  
  
I still love you)  
  
Shuichi! Oh!  
  
(I still love you)  
  
Shuichi! Oh!  
  
(Now you know)  
  
Shu-chan, can't you see  
  
I'm much better than Yuki  
  
I know it's not okay, but  
  
I still love you anyway  
  
HULY: Thanks and g'bye! If you liked that, check out meh other shit! 


End file.
